What is your plan if Xavier loses Coach Mack?

It has been awhile since Xavier lost a beloved head coach. Sean Miller took over for Thad Matta, took the program further on the road to becoming a national power, then left in the night. That left many Xavier fans feeling both betrayed and utterly confused. After all, not often in adult life do you have to deal with the feeling of being jilted. This time, at least, fans can see it coming. To prevent the groundless feeling that can come with shock, we’ve prevented a few methods for handling the impending departure of Xavier’s most successful coach of all time.

Stare into the abyss:

This is going to come naturally, especially if you watched Xavier blow a 12 point second half lead to Florida State and then had a chaser of JP Macura collapsing in tears in the tunnel to the locker room. To properly stare straight into the darkness, cue that clip up again, then maybe fire up Trevon crying after last year’s loss and Tu Holloway after the Marquette game. That’s going to get the pain rolling. To cap things off, make sure you watch Chris Mack’s introductory presser at Louisville. Then, fire up Hurt by Trent Reznor (not the Johnny Cash version) and play it until you eventually collapse from hunger and sadness. This is ideal. Wake up and repeat. Your coworkers should eventually call the FD to come check your mental status if you are doing this correctly. No matter what, derive no joy from anything. If you begin to only be able to see greyscale, you’re nailing it. Not that you’ll care, because you’ve learned not to care about anything. Everything is pain.

Shake it off

It’s just college basketball, right? Find something that brings you joy (if you can’t feel joy anymore, check out option one) and just do that. Watch your kids play spring soccer, get lost in the upcoming MLB season, catch the rest of the tournament, or hop on your bike and ride it off a cliff. The main thing here is just to focus on something else. Like a bad breakup, wallowing in it won’t help. Find a new hobby, rediscover an old hobby, or just relish the fact that it cannot possibly be winter forever. It’s essentially impossible to visit the islands on Lake Erie and not be happy, so allow me to recommend that. November will come again, Xavier will still be good, and basketball is always fun.

Become a Twitter warrior

The one thing that will definitely make Coach Mack change his mind is some random dude or lady accosting him on social media. Great news, that can be you! Take a break from tweeting at 17 year old children who, frankly, probably find you really creepy, and direct some of that energy at a grown man who can find you creepy. Best of all, you can tag ESPN, Fox Sports, and the entire Big East conference so they can see just how clever that gif you found is. Make sure you work in some vague threats, an insult or two directed at innocent parties and, whatever you do, don’t ask if Ed Cooley is a good coach. People hate that. By the time the entire world has blocked you, it will be basketball season again.

Bury yourself in the coaching search

This might be the lone productive option here. Xavier is going to have a new coach, and you might as well know as much as you can about him. Note: this is not advocating calling neighbors, finding parents, or anything of that ilk. However, it may be worth knowing that Pat Kelsey prefers a fast pace and likes to have his teams take a lot of threes. There’s a fine line between learning about coaches and becoming a Twitter warrior, but we will try to keep you informed and, hopefully, prevent any sort of restraining orders. Well, those of us who aren’t choosing option one as a coping method.

Hopefully, we’ve given you some options on how to deal with what is going to be, in all honesty, a painful moment for Xavier. There’s simply no way to lose the best coach in program history and not feel it a little bit. It’s looking more and more likely that Coach Mack has spent his last game on the sideline for the Musketeers, it’s time to brace ourselves.