Hey all! Welcome to HGN’s newest show, Cooking with the Musketeers!* This week our favorite Xavier players will show you how to whip up a half of “defense” in which you give up 65 points. This exciting new recipe is sure to be a hit on that Valentine’s night when all you want to do is get between the sheets (for sleep, because you have to wake up at 4:45 for work).
Musketeers: To start with, we’ll pour in a ton of points in the first half.
Host: That’s always great, and all the fans seem excited. [canned cheering]. What next?
Musketeers: Now, let’s add a dash of on fire Myles Powell. Some Powell always adds some bite to he back half of a dish. Plus, we like seeing everyone get theirs on Valentine’s Day.
Host, in exaggerated Jim Carrey voice: Oh, that’s spicy!
Musketeers: It’s also completely vital to let in some easy buckets. You can’t make our vintage 65 points in a half without a lot of easy huckets. We need uncontested drives, bad blockouts that lead to stickbacks, and, of course, allowing a lot of looks from outside. You just can’t have too many easy buckets if you want to whip up 65.
Host: Wait, don’t we have a win already in the oven? [audience begins to murmur].
Musketeers: Do we? Who even knows at this point. Let’s shoot a load more three pointers. Even if they go, we’ll get closer to allowing 65.
Host: Uh, guys...
Musketeers: WHAT ABOUT A BENCH TECH?!?!
Host: Now we’re cooking with gas! Free points? That’s even better than easy buckets!
Musketeers: You can’t whip up some 65 in a half unless you get a little lucky.
Host: Jamie Luckie!!!! [audience roars with laughter].
Off camera Trevon Bluiett sighs and hoists the team onto his back again.
* This is not actually a new show. It is just easier to rationalize allowing 65 points in a half if it seems like there was a reason.